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DIARIES

CARMEN RENE

CARLSBAD, CA

11/11/20

NO. 6

Carlsbad, CA

Carmen Rene

Preparing For Loss With The Help Of A Podcast

Carmen is a 25+ year finance professional who also enjoys politics, community service and quality time with her Alpha Chi Omega sorority sisters. Carmen is a HUGE lover of animals, especially dogs, an avid learner and recent patron of podcasts. During COVID, Carmen is reconnecting with her yoga practice, assembling lots of puzzles and spending time with her mom & four-legged family members.

The podcast “Life is Short with Justin Long” has been a great source of comfort for me during quarantine.  Justin and his brother Christian use their time talking to celebrities about how “Life is Short.”  One of their regular questions is to ask about legacy and how each guest thinks about dying.  Perhaps an odd question for a light-hearted podcast but its real and most guests have rather insightful thoughts.  For me, the best response came as I was preparing myself to say goodbye to two special souls and forming my own thoughts on the subject of death. 

Justin asked guest Kristin Bell “Do you think about death?”  Her response spoke directly to my heart at a moment when I needed guidance the most.  She shared the essay by Aaron Freeman that starts “You want a physicist to speak at your funeral” and ends “According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly.”  Read it – you will be touched.  I read it because my best friends of 17 years were in rapid decline and I expected to lose them any day. 

Pagosa and Senona, the Bichon Sisters, passed away on September 8th.  These two girls were both my best friends and my babies. They taught me about unconditional love and together we lived an amazing life. We enjoyed Arizona, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, California and Utah together. We visited national parks, city parks and lots of beaches. We kayaked San Diego bay, attended drive in movies, took advantage of dog friendly everything. Twice daily walks were our normal and my favorite part of traveling was always coming home to them. 

These two pups battled a myriad of aliments over the years and we fought them together always promising that this year there would be a trip to see Santa and a great Christmas Card. They stood by me as boyfriends and jobs came and went. Pagosa and Senona were a constant in my world for 17 years.  


I’m grateful for the extra time I had with My Girls in the final months of their lives.  Working from home while quarantined gave me that.  I miss them terribly, yet I find comfort in Freeman’s words that their energy is literally still with me.  “Life is Short” gave me that.

Senona: My best friend and companion.  Thank you for always playing ball with me.  You will forever be “The One With Big Life.”

Pagosa: You healed my heart and shared your sass with the world.  The legend of my Ute Indian Princess lives on…

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